Family Times

Keeping up with a blog hasn't always been the most consistent endeavor that I've attempted. The last time I posted something was because the thought or idea had been invading my thoughts for several days with a nagging "get this down on paper!" so living in the digital age, I wrote a blog post about it and quickly felt relief.

Now, almost 3 years later and having never felt the same dramatic impression to “write something down!” I wonder if I am coming out of some void that I didn’t even know I was in, because today, I feel like I need to blog again!

I wonder if I dare to attribute my recent “blog void” to my newly acquired title of “mother” which has come with a fair few more responsibilities and downright terrifying emotional changes that have made me feel like a completely changed woman, and yet the change is exactly who I’ve been all along. Clear as mud?

Ohhhhh, I remember being young and childless (it almost seems like an entirely separate lifetime ago). Back then I just felt lucky to have essentially dodged a child-bullet (is that a pun?) and actually achieve things! Finishing my education, pursuits in different careers, traveling the world and honestly doing whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it! Not that I hated kids or anything, I have nieces! And plenty of my good friends jumped on board the baby-train in their early twenties, so it’s not that I don’t respect the calling of motherhood. Honestly, I just never worried about whether or not I’d have kids. I would go as far to say that I was more worried about my chances of becoming a mother than not.

I would vomit a little when I would hear women (younger or older than me) say, “All I’ve ever wanted was to be a mother.” It was/is especially annoying when I heard it from girls younger than me…tho recently I've noticed, even though they are younger than me, they are (much to my surprise!) not that young anymore! Being raised in the Mormon faith, my gut (but silent) reaction would be, “were you even taught there was more to life than motherhood?” Again, not knocking mothers (geez it sure sounds like it tho!) I just felt/feel like if you really WANT to be a mother, I have a few requirements for my generation (or younger) that I feel you need to do to qualify for the position.

#1 Get your education!

I’m not saying take a few college courses, I’m saying graduate with a degree or license! And no (sorry) Associate degrees do not count in my book, they are glorified high school diplomas. We live in a progressing world with state of the art technology and children graduating from High Schools with reading comprehension of an 8^th grader or less. Now more than ever you (the mother!) need to be educated. You need to read and sight to reputable sources and you need to KNOW firsthand how to teach your children to keep up and rise above the struggles.

Getting my education has directly impacted my career choices and it leaves doors open to me that would never be available without my degrees. That being said, I am also SO grateful I am DONE! I don't have to worry about working and going to school at the same time (any more, because I worked that the whole time I was in school!)

#2 You need to freakin’ work a legit job.

I’m talking full-time employment. You know, where the employer takes taxes out of your check kind of employment. You need to see what it’s like supporting yourself and your lifestyle. You need to do things like pay your bills, travel, buy appliances, save for retirement (yes you need to do that too), pay taxes. This (to me) goes hand in hand with your education.

Tell me, in all your grand schemes of motherhood have you considered what would happen if your spouse gets super sick and can’t work to support your family? What would happen if your spouse died? What happens to after school sports programs, dance classes, pottery or art classes, daycare because you have to work now? Who pays for these things? No one plans for the worst to happen, but I will tell you that sad things happen to EVERYONE. Will you be prepared? Will you be able to get a job that can support your family, with a HS diploma and part-time work experience? I guess you’ll have to decide.

#3 Learn about yourself before you bring little people into the world!

Man, I can’t tell you how grateful I am that when Thomas and I met we knew who we were. Our pasts were filled with the good and the bad that made us who we are. We grew up, we learned how to communicate, we knew what we liked/disliked in those we dated. We accepted the reality that neither one of us were perfect, but we knew what our foundation was made of, so we knew if we could build on it.

Fast forward to now, we’ve thrown a child into the mix and it’s like buying a ticket for a new adventure. We have continued to grow our family, have fun, get through rough times, support each through job changes and promotions, the list goes on. All because we knew the foundation we had was good. We knew this BECAUSE we knew who we were. We are comfortable with parenting, it’s just the next thing. It’s not bigger than we are, it’s just a change to who we were. I know we are better parents because we knew more about ourselves before we had kids.

…hm…where was I even going with all of this?...

I guess, that was a long-winded vent session for, “I want to get back into writing again!” I have a beautiful little family, we’ve kept the travel bug alive even with a baby, and we’re having fun watching our Sweets explore and learn about the world around her.

More to come!