Let's start two weeks ago when I had this distinct question float across my mind "what if I see Andy come in to do his taxes?" "Ptsh, that would never happen, he doesn't even do his taxes!" I argued back. But my feeble argument didn't take away the small anxiety I had whenever clients would walk through the door or leave their appointments while I was covering for the receptionists' lunches. "This is ridiculous!" I would tell myself every time I did a double take, "he doesn't even pay taxes, why in the world would he come here of all the places, even if he did start paying!"
Well, that thought that was planted only a few weeks ago, just came full-circle on me today and all I can think now is, "thank you God for loving me and knowing that I don't like surprises." Because when that random-"there's-no-way-that-would-happen"-thought actually does happen, I was pleasantly okay with it because I had known it would happen all along.
Here's the play-by-play:
Today I was super busy, running around getting copies for David, giving payroll my hours, making my lunch and entering notes for my other job with MMA Systems. The receptionist had been gone for about 30 minutes and I just finishing making my lunch (a health shake), I sat down at the desk and start entering my notes, when I half-hear, "University of Phoenix didn't work out for you?" I finish my note and realize no one else is in the front, so I lean back and slide my chair to see who's sitting on the other side of the desk and ask "Excuse me, you mean me? Are you talking to me?" As soon as I finish that statement I get a good look at the person there and it was Andy! I'm sure I could've fallen out of my chair from shock and who knows if my face went pale or red, but in that instant all the anxiety that had followed me around the last few weeks left me. I answered his question and asked how he was doing. Nathan Fish (his CPA) came and got him and I never saw him again.
The receptionist came back from lunch, I went back to my desk and called Thomas. The last few months have been littered with what I consider 'window moments' for the both of us and I love that we can talk about these unique insights together.
Pretty soon everyone on my side of the office knew he had been in the building and were shocked and wanted to make sure I was okay. All I have to say is: first, forgiveness really does heal your heart; second, it has been almost 8 years since the divorce; third, addressing/dealing with pain and traumatic experiences when they occur put things into perspective and aids healing; and forth, there have been other major life decisions since then that have been just as significant (if not more) than the divorce - not to say the divorce wasn't significant at the time, but what a blessing it is not being married to him and what a blessing it is to know what I don't want - right?
This is just another witness to me that I am loved. God definitely knows me. He knows my heart and knows when I need a little extra support in my week.