China!!

So Thomas and I went to China for ten (10) days! China was amazing and I figured it would be a good time to write all this down before I start forgeting the subtle details.

Day 1: Travel
We pretty much traveled this day. Thomas and I were the first people to the airport (of course) so we waited around in the terminal for my parents and the DeTemples. All of us packed light, which made the entire journey MUCH easier, but Thomas and I were the only ones doing it in a backpack. The flight from Phoenix to Seattle was pretty uneventful and we had just a few hours in the Sea-Tac airport before we started boarding for our 11 hour flight to Beijing.

We planned on Thomas getting nervous/sick for the long flight so I brought my last 4 Xanax pills from 2 years ago for him (two for the flight to China and two for the flight home - they were definitely needed and used). The best part about the flight to China was that we got to sit together and watch tons of TV. The airplane wasn't the largest aircraft, but I never got up to walk around (though I probably should have). Airplane food has definitely improved and I actually enjoyed my 'western style' dinner (chicken with veggies) and all the in flight snacks.

Dad and mom across the aisle 

Airplane delirium 

When we got into Beijing at midnight and got off the airplane we were tire and sore; but also greeted by hot, muggy air and the most horrible smell of backed up toilet sewage I've ever smelt - so gross that I almost got sick as we navigated our way through customs (which was completely empty at that time of day) and found the first bathroom.

Welcome to squatters! I knew after my first experience with squatters, that they were not built for someone with my body structure, but at least the airport bathroom had soap, water and paper towels.

Once we got through all the gates and exchanged a few bucks into Yuan, we made our way to the taxi cabs. Of course we could've waited in line with all the other Chinese people that were waiting in line for the standard taxis, but dad needed to get sucked into all the 'deal-makers' that spotted us. One taxi cab took us to a completely empty part of the airport before telling us that it would be 800 Yuan ($133) to go a mile and a half.

Pretty soon I was telling everyone no before they even opened their mouth, but mostly I was just directing those nos to my dad. We did end up getting a good size van to take all 6 of us to our hotel and it was still probably too much, but it's 12:30am, and who really cares about anything at that time of day?

Day 2: Beijing/Train

We got up in the morning and went on a stroll with my mom and dad. They stopped at a store front and bought a meat pocket thing, that smelled incredible, but both Thomas and I let my parents test it out first. When they didn't drop dead, we both took a bite, YUM!

Walking down the street

Morning Tai Chi - this was the biggest group but they had a few groups in the area

Beautiful flowers next to some shady looking apartment buildings and a huge road way

The walk was very nice, and the blatant stares from locals were fun too

It was so nice to get out and walk around. The weather was misty/hazy but not cold. It actually reminded me a lot of Washington state. I will confess, I have never used so much hand sanitizer in my life. Normally, I'm completely against any such thing because it kills all the natural defenses your body creates, but I had it handy wherever we went (trust me, you would too).

....Well, it's been a few months since I've tried to finish this post, and I have a lot of pictures, can I just write under them  for now?

Too much hand sanitizer

Hotel lobby, waiting for the shuttle to take us to the train station

Airport/subway port

Walking down to the subway terminal

It's all in Chinese! ;} 

On the subway

Beijing train station

We grabbed some food before we entered the station

Thomas and mom, just inside the station

Inside the station

I wouldn't put my backpack down

Bruce Lee, he's China's Col. Sanders

Eating just so we had a place to sit

Yes, we brought Monopoly the card game - we're so fun :}

The bunks were easily 6 feet high, and stiff as a board

It wasn't easy, but Thomas was able to get some sleep

 Day 3: Xian/Terracotta Warriors/Ancient city/

Mom was under Thomas

Are we there yet?

Xian

Pouting rain, but we're still smiling

Warren's van

Our hotel

Out to explore Xi'an

Museum

Museum with a stuffed rodent

Deer in the headlights...? :}

Blaaaaah - okay I'm going to just post this and come back to it later and finish my labeling....maybe.

The next two pictures are from this restaurant that we went to in the late morning...looking back, we're not even sure they were open, but none of us could communicate with each other, so yeah. They seated us, brought us hot water and gave us menus. About 10 minutes later the girl came up to take our order and we had to point at pictures and use hand signals to order our food. Dave, myself ordered things with french fries on the side, and they came first. So we shared them with every one while we waited. It was quite some time before anything else came. Thomas, dad and Elaine got their soups with a sunny side up egg in it. But Elaine didn't like the look of the egg so she gave her soup to Thomas. Dave, mom and me NEVER got anything else. It was actually pretty funny because English and Chinese are SO COMPLETELY different that there is no common ground for any word ever. So while the waitress and we tried to slow down our speech, or use bigger hand gestures, there just nothing any of us could do, but smile and laugh in a sheepish way when we just couldn't understand :}After spending probably 2 hours at the restaurant, we paid our bill and left hungry and worn out.

Oh so rich, ha!

More Yuans!

China. Most of these high rises are abandoned and unfinished. They can be kinda creepy when the ratted tarps are waving in the wind. We asked around and the building projects usually go bankrupt 90% into the job. When they do finish the buildings people don't like living in them because China doesn't regulate their elevator codes so the elevators hardly ever work and the tenants end up having to walk up the stairs...can you imagine being on the 25th floor?!

We found an elementary school! It was so cute and colorful :}

Mom and Thomas standing next to the outer wall of the elementary school.

Mom went into an eye store to see if she could get something repaired so Thomas and I waited outside because the store smelled like an ashtray. There are a lot of cars parked on the side walks, and they have these HUGE bridges that go over road ways (you can see the stairs for one just behind Thomas on the right). Mostly the stores are electronic stores or small markets, but they have clothing and camping stores too. The grocery shopping was {of course} the funnest part of the trip for me. 

Dad mentioned to Warren that we read about these dumplings Xi'an is famous for, so Warren took us to this ballet performance that depicted the more influential dynasties in their culture. They served the dumplings the performances or acts. We could tell immediately that it was for tourists because the whole room was full of tour groups, mostly from Europe they gave you a small drink of soda at the beginning of the show and then charged you over 15 Yuan for a bottled water (which would normally be 1 Yuan) and more if you wanted soda or tea or something else. We had an amazing tour guide who went and got us free water when we were concerned we would have to stay through the whole performance with nothing to drink. The dumplings were fun, they came in all shapes and flavors. The performance was beautiful and while this was probably the most 'touristy' thing we did during our trip, I'm glad we did it.

Thomas outside the Big Goose Pagoda walls

Outside the Pagoda walls

The Asian picture pose

Big Goose Pagoda - one of the largest active Buddhist temples in Asia it had some BEAUTIFUL gardens and courtyards within the outer walls. 

Burning incense in outside the Pagoda - it was cloudy and misty all day. So you can't really see the city in the background, but this was a tiny slice of serenity in a large bustling city

Outside the Pagoda people and monks would light their red candles and stick them in a candle holder, and the whole thing reminded me a lot of this Greek Orthodox church Thomas and I went to for the Greek Festival in Mesa.

Monsoons

I know I still owe my pictures and explanations for my trip to China, but my mom has breast cancer. She felt a lump maybe two weeks after we got home from China on a Sunday. Went into see a doctor that next day Monday and had her first treatment within two weeks of that first doctor's appointment.

Things moved fast, she had MRIs, PET scans, blood work, biopsies, x-rays and pick-lines. The only thing she was worried about were the needles. She said when she first found out that she's not afraid to die. That's probably a fair and very real statement, but today two days after her second Chemo treatment she felt sick and sore. She sounded helpless because more hair is falling out in the shower and then we had somewhat surface conversation about how she and dad might go to the ward talent show that started 5 minutes ago, but she wasn't sure she was up to it. 

Was this the same talent show she mentioned at her follow up appointment on Tuesday (2 days ago)? She was sitting on the bench in the doctor's office and trying to come up with funny things she could say about cancer because she still might sign up and do some stand-up bits. 

It must be hard, but I realize that seeing or hearing her struggle isn't what makes me sad or tear up. It's all the flashes of memories from my childhood when I'm cuddling with her, or my careless childhood laughter as she's tickling me, or we're cutting our hair short so it's not so bad when it falls out. It's the contrast of the warmth of past memories with the cool front of the current situation. It's actually like my own little monsoon season, within the monsoon season. With all the different climates interacting, it's bound to rain sometimes.

Window Moments

Ever have a 'window moment' in your life where you get a feeling that something is going to happen, and the feeling is so real that when it happens you're like, "Oh okay, I guess that wasn't some random thought."

Let's start two weeks ago when I had this distinct question float across my mind "what if I see Andy come in to do his taxes?" "Ptsh, that would never happen, he doesn't even do his taxes!" I argued back. But my feeble argument didn't take away the small anxiety I had whenever clients would walk through the door or leave their appointments while I was covering for the receptionists' lunches. "This is ridiculous!" I would tell myself every time I did a double take, "he doesn't even pay taxes, why in the world would he come here of all the places, even if he did start paying!"

Well, that thought that was planted only a few weeks ago, just came full-circle on me today and all I can think now is, "thank you God for loving me and knowing that I don't like surprises." Because when that random-"there's-no-way-that-would-happen"-thought actually does happen, I was pleasantly okay with it because I had known it would happen all along.

Here's the play-by-play:

Today I was super busy, running around getting copies for David, giving payroll my hours, making my lunch and entering notes for my other job with MMA Systems. The receptionist had been gone for about 30 minutes and I just finishing making my lunch (a health shake), I sat down at the desk and start entering my notes, when I half-hear, "University of Phoenix didn't work out for you?" I finish my note and realize no one else is in the front, so I lean back and slide my chair to see who's sitting on the other side of the desk and ask "Excuse me, you mean me? Are you talking to me?" As soon as I finish that statement I get a good look at the person there and it was Andy! I'm sure I could've fallen out of my chair from shock and who knows if my face went pale or red, but in that instant all the anxiety that had followed me around the last few weeks left me. I answered his question and asked how he was doing. Nathan Fish (his CPA) came and got him and I never saw him again. 

The receptionist came back from lunch, I went back to my desk and called Thomas. The last few months have been littered with what I consider 'window moments' for the both of us and I love that we can talk about these unique insights together. 

Pretty soon everyone on my side of the office knew he had been in the building and were shocked and wanted to make sure I was okay. All I have to say is: first, forgiveness really does heal your heart; second, it has been almost 8 years since the divorce; third, addressing/dealing with pain and traumatic experiences when they occur put things into perspective and aids healing; and forth, there have been other major life decisions since then that have been just as significant (if not more) than the divorce - not to say the divorce wasn't significant at the time, but what a blessing it is not being married to him and what a blessing it is to know what I don't want - right?

This is just another witness to me that I am loved. God definitely knows me. He knows my heart and knows when I need a little extra support in my week. 

Tables and TVs

Oh please! (had to make it rhyme)

This past weekend I was trying to be helpful and open a tray table for Thomas, but the table slipped a part and came crashing down on my right big toe. OUCH! 5 days later, it's still tender, completely black from the cuticle to about midway up; BUT I can walk without limping. On day 3 Cortez (in his excitement to go outside) jumped on the toe, and today I jammed it on the corner of a wall. So, as you can imagine, my toe is on a slow road to recovery. Last night was the first night I didn't need to ice it so I could fall asleep and I'm hoping that as I go into the weekend I will be able to relax a lot more.

Which brings me to my next piece of news: new TV!! I think I will be able to relax a lot now that I have a new TV. We got it at Costco, and I just love Costco; for so many reasons, but mostly because they are so friendly and have such great stuff.

Second Birthdays!

Thomas had his year anniversary of sobriety on the 29th of August. Being the sneaky person I am, I tell him to be ready at 5:30pm that evening, but didn't lead on to any of my plans. Of course I was planning weeks in advance, from getting ideas of unique or romantic little restaurants in the area, to finding a place to get a little 'birthday' cake - carrot of course, I think he would disown me if I got anything else. I was so excited that morning. I made the call and ordered his cake, called and confirmed my reservation I had made the week prior and even found out it they would be able to light my '1' candle (for his first year).

I think he was really surprised and excited, and despite me getting lost and having to back-track a few times before we got to the restaurant, we had fun. I am so proud of him and his accomplishments in the last year. I look forward to the next few years and the candles they bring.

Paid or Un-paid, THAT is the Question...

I came across an interesting perspective today at work. I have been working with a local community college so we can start bringing in Interns for some projects we have going on this year. The first project is a series of seminars – mainly the internship handles a lot of the administrative support the agents don’t want to do and will give the interns incredible experience in marketing, running and managing these kinds of events. On the plus side the interns get paid based on how many people they can bring to the seminar.

So while I was meeting with the college reps today, one lady was concerned about the $8-$10 per person pay structure we had set in place. They weren't concerned that they were getting paid, but they were concerned with a ‘commission based’ pay structure. So they considered taking the internship from being ‘paid’ to ‘non-paid.’ The ladies who I was working with said they try to stamp out ‘commission based’ jobs; which to be honest I completely understand if we were going door to door selling pest control. But I told them that to expect another intern to do the same work, but not be paid wouldn't be fair (because we are also getting other students from different schools that have no problem with the pay structure). They countered my concern with, "well you would need to edit out the paid responsibilities so they would just do the non-paid part."

No sorry, in the real world employers don't cut out responsibilities because the new hires don't like the pay structure. Basing the pay on commission is a win-win. College students get experience to the financial and insurance industry (which is, by the way, primarily commission based and people make millions of dollars doing it), but they get to do the background work (market planning, building the presentations, market research) and then reap the rewards of their own labor by getting people to the seminars. If we take out the pay, we can’t expect them to work as hard to do all that we need.

Unfortunately, we had to pass with this particular college, and what makes me sad is that students aren't even aware that this choice was made on their behalf. I bet some of them would've loved the opportunity and excelled in the task. 100% of the students don't get the opportunity because the school didn't like 20% of the expectation.

My Birthday

Sunday was a day of rest! All of us were suffering from too much work on Saturday. I was actually suffering more than was bearable, so Jason and Thomas went down to the store to get me some headache medicine and Thomas comes back with roses :} I'm so lucky to have such a sweet spirited man in my life!

Roses for my birthday!

We spent the rest of the afternoon eating cake and ice cream, taking naps, and learning how to play my new game Power Grid. After the game (won by Jason) ended Thomas and I packed up and headed back to the valley. Considering ourselves very lucky we blew a tire in Show Low and not on our way down the mountain. We stopped in Payson to eat some dinner (and get me some caffeine!) at the Beeline Cafe.

As we were going through Fountain Hills, we were able to watch the finally of a fireworks show the casino was setting off. We drove past and it felt like bombs were going off next to the car! We were being showered in light from the explosions.

I may always have to go away for my birthday, but they are getting more fun with each year that passes. What a great weekend and birthday!

Rodeo Anyone?

After the round up we headed back to Pine Top to check into the condo and take a hot shower! Unfortunately, when we passed through Show Low and stopped for gas, we discovered that I had a flat tire. So, mom and Jason took the truck to Safeway to get cake, ice cream and other food items for the next couple of days; Amy, dad and the girls headed for the condo, and Thomas and I had to wait at Discount Tire in Show Low for 45 minutes until my car was drive-able again. Silver lining is that it was probably the quickest I have ever waited at Discount Tire!

After we got to the condo and showered, we didn't have much time before we were off to the Taylor rodeo! The evening ended with an amazing fireworks show - it was a VERY full day for all of us!

Thomas and me at the Taylor rodeo

Family Round Up

My birthday has come and gone - simply put: another amazing year. I distinctly remember thinking this year, 'my life gets better and better with each birthday!' This year Thomas and I spent my birthday in the Pine Top, AZ area with my parents and Amy with her family. 

It has pretty much been a family tradition to go 'away' the week of my birthday...wherever 'away' might be. Typically, when I was younger there was some ward camping trip or family gathering that called us away for that week...but as I get older I get the feeling my parents have just started looking for excuses to leave for that week. 

I am so glad Thomas and I took the time off work, we went up to Woods Canyon Lake (on the Rim) Friday night. On the way up Thomas saw a few camp sites closed and was like, "was that a picture of a bear next to that 'closed' sign?!" I was too focused on the road to pay attention, but my dad confirmed there were bear problems when we stopped at the BIFFYs before heading to the campsite - according to dad we were 'lucky' because all the bear incidents were on the South side of 260 and we would be camping on the North side (oh what luck!).

To keep Olivia from straying too far from the campsite that night, my sister would ask Olivia to let her know how big the bears are when she saw them...thankfully we never found out :}

Olivia squatted when I did to take her picture - she is so cute! 

Our campsite came with this cutie! :} 

Little did I know at the time, but this was taken before 6:30am...had I known it was so early, I would've crawled back into my sleeping bag!

Me n' Thomas

Thomas and I at the campsite - WAY too early in the morning.

Saturday morning (bright and early!) we ate a nice pancake, eggs and bacon breakfast, packed up and headed to the family cattle round up!

The official rounding up of the cattle had already happened, but the young cattle were still awaiting on their turn to participate in the biggest event of the afternoon. We branded, castrated, medicated, de-horned, and clipped the ears of 81 calves.

Thomas got me this shirt in Wisconsin, and I thought it was the perfect attire for the event!

It took Thomas some time to get used to the way the calves would struggle and cry when it was their turn, but after watching me handle about 5 or 6 he jumped right in. We didn't actually do any of the brandings. We held the nose with giant pliers to keep the rest of the body more stable. Thomas did have to look away when the two calves (that in his opinion were still chasing butterflies in their freetime) came through the chute.

Holding the nose was dirty work, Thomas was right in the middle of all the action.

Olivia, grandpa, and me

Olivia loves her grandpa!

Unlucky steer #13

 The ears on the cattle were given a V-like shape and the bottom section was sliced off, any calf with horns were also de-horned seared.

Here are some more pictures of the event:

We were so young and innocent...

Watching my first branding.

I'm being told about the flesh eating flies that come around if we don't continue to cover up the blood with dirt. Needless to say, I made sure the blood was constantly being covered!

It hurts to watch.

Thomas is wondering why he came with me at this point :}

Really?

They just wrangled a steer that got out of the clamp

When the calves get loose, the boys just tie them down and brand them where they fall. No one gets away.

Getting a closer look.

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

I'm a professional already.

There's a lot going on in his head right now...

Everyone did their part :} 

Grandma and Olivia

'I'm ready for my close up'

Great food after a long afternoon!! NO rocky mountain oysters for me, thanks!

The Beehive

The Beehive is a Mormon publication that is circulated around Arizona. I've never read it until tonight, and the one thing I read upset me so much that I went straight home and wrote the editor and told her to discontinue the rant session that is, this lady's column. I told her that if complaining about back-rubs in church is all it takes to get into their publication, I would happily replace the other writer with my comical thoughts on healthy living, and my witty insights to community events and service projects.

Any one else read The Beehive and feel that it encourages Mormon Culture Ignorance (MCI) while side-stepping important values and principles that govern some of the sweetest things in life? Maybe I won't get a chance to replace the writer, but maybe my charm is something that publication desperately needs. :}

Mesa Activity

 Morning bike rides really make a lot more sense when they are directly linked to pastries. It was already 80 degrees outside when we started at 7:30am this morning, but that didn't stop us. I love my new schedule and the fact that Thomas gets to work from home. It really lets us enjoy our days in better ways. Thomas rides his bike with the ball of his feet, and since I typically follow I tried this entire trip to do the same thing. Um, that is WAY harder than I thought it would be! By the time we got back to my house, it was almost 82 degrees and I'm hoping I didn't get a sun burn - who would think to put on sunscreen at 7:30am?

In other news, the city of Mesa is doing some construction on Mesa Dr. just south of Southern right now and they have all these huge concrete pipes next to the places they will be placed under the street. So Thomas and I did some investigation work...we found that all the pipes I sturdy and definitely big enough for whatever they will be used for.

We didn't ride our bikes because it was night time and my neighborhood isn't what I would consider the safest part of town. My previous manager at University of Phoenix (Erik) said the city was planning to dump some money into that corner to make it more marketable, but so far all we've gotten is a Tito's Check Loan office and ripped up asphalt. Let's hope all this construction leads to more things - though I must admit I would miss the smell of laundry detergent if they removed the laundry mat for an AJs Fine Foods....

 The city of Mesa should be happy to have such involved residents!





Kisses,

Ashley

Penny for My Thoughts?

Oh Arizona, you poor state. I think your quarter is the only one I've seen that is actually prettier than the state itself. I was driving my car and looked into my cup-holder to find these coins just laying there and I was actually shocked at how perfect the Arizona state was captured in the back of this relatively small coin.

Joy

So, last night Thomas and I went to pick up a bed frame he needs for his new spot in Tempe. He found a lady on Craigslist that was selling one cheaper than Goodwill so off we went! After dropping off the frame in Tempe we were both super thirsty so we stopped in at Fresh and Easy and took an unusually long time to get a drink. They had weird options, but when we finally made a decision (me with strawberry lemonade and him with carrot juice) we checked out. As soon as my lemonade was scanned, I popped the top and read the lid to Thomas. He smiled and said "You should have a label like that too." Awe!

Okay that's my story for now.

Ashley

Time is Money

I need to start charging a lot more for my time. Today I actually had a day off where I wasn't so overwhelmed with the thought of returning to work that I got out of bed when I woke up the first time. Ran to the dry cleaners to drop off my suits, made my 9:30am appointment 25 minutes early and as a result was done with my appointment at 9:34am. Went to the YMCA, swam for 30 minutes and basically crawled to the long-chair to soak in the sun for another 30 minutes. After I could walk again, I came home washed both my poodles, shaved Cortez, did a load of laundry, did the dishes and took a shower.

Now, at just 3pm I feel happier, successful, more relaxed, more accomplished, and stress-free about my day then I have felt ever working for someone else. So I figure....$$$$$$^(per hour)*(less work) = More Me Time :}

Working for anyone that brings you so much stress and anxiety that you can rarely enjoy your days off aren't worth it! Do what you want, love what you do, and live HAPPY! :}

I Step on Cigarettes

Ever have things you ALWAYS do? Almost like OCD rituals that appear to be random to everyone else, but it always seems so purposeful to you? For example, I step on cigarette butts - but not all of them, just the ones that look like they could be used again. I also avoid cracks in the streets - not because I'm afraid of bad luck, but because of the movie Land Before Time :}

Thanksgiving and Free Shipping

This year I was in charge of stuffing - this is a family tradition on my dad's side of the family. Every 'kid' (my dad and his siblings) gets an assignment for food/dessert and their kids (my cousins) also get assignments for sides and such.

I've never made stuffing before so when I looked on the back of the Stove Top box I got a little nervous when it was calling for things like sour cream, frozen mixed vegetables and diced chicken - but hey people make stuffing every year, and I have never heard of someone dying because of it, so I got all the necessary ingredients and headed for home. What I should've REALLY been nervous about is my reading comprehension.

Stove Top Stuffing is far too simple. I realized after I got home and filled a pot full of water and oil, waited for it to boil, and then dumped my package of stuffing into it; that THAT is stuffing...and all the chicken and sour cream stuff is for a stuffing casserole. In that moment it hit me that THAT is why it said 'stuffing in 5 minutes' on the front of the box, because - to be honest - until then I was super confused that it said 5 minutes on the front of the box, but then it was going to take 30 minutes for the recipe on the back of the box....soooo....yeeeeeah...

Um, I love getting stuff in the mail. It's like Christmas and my birthday wrapped into a sweet little package or card AND when I order things online I feel like I'm being a very good citizen because I use the mail system. :} Another thing I love is Costco. I love everything about Costco, but to be honest I have never ordered anything from Costco.com, until now. Today I bought myself a blender, an air compressor and a fruit basket (hehe) all online and all without shipping and handling (which isn't entirely true, the S&H was just added to the original price so it feels like it's free shipping - which I think is almost better). With all this free shipping I feel like I'm shopping from Amazon.com without having that $25 limit - heaven! :}

I guess

If a baby can learn to walk, then I can learn to move on.

Have You Thought to Pray?

This is the song that is in my heart tonight:

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side. Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain...

The tune came to me suddenly this evening when I was praying - I didn't even plan on praying... I had just finished bathing Bleeker (which was an ordeal), dried him off and was getting myself ready for bed; when this overwhelming feeling hit me. 


I didn't know what to do or where the feeling had come from, but suddenly I found myself kneeling by my bed but then I didn't know what to say, so I started thanking my Heavenly Father for my friends and family and my dear little puppies that love me no matter what. And then this  emotion came up again and I just started crying - I prayed for Travis and as I knelt there sobbing with relief and sadness, the song came to me.


I know my Heavenly Father loves me. I know he knows me. I am so grateful for the unexpected humility I felt tonight and for the chance to express my heart to the one person who understands it the best. What a beautiful life this really is, and I am so grateful for the prompting. I have never been brought to my knees like that before, but it was exactly what I needed to do.

My Therapy

Writing is good therapy. Therapists usually suggest writing down your feelings and significant life events...typically nothing extraordinary happens externally (unless you're Mike Birbiglia), but that emotional connection that occurs when pen meets paper is priceless and 100% intrinsic. So here I go, but I am pre-warning you that I will probably ramble and not make sense at times.

A while ago, when I had a moment of clarity, I wrote about the importance of knowing yourself: how you think, how you feel love, how you give love, and how events affect your individual perspective. But I think I left off one important piece we need to find personal understanding with and that is our intuition and how to act on it.

My intuition is a complicated feeling of peace. It has a compilation of emotions and memories from my childhood. In an instant it takes me back to Washington in the rain, it has a smell that I can't quite place, it has an anticipation and excitement that I used to feel when other people were opening their gifts and I wanted to help, and the laughter from when my mom or dad would tickle me silly. This intuition is so familiar and powerful that it shakes me a little when I feel it unexpectedly. It has only been recent that I have tied this feeling directly to personal decisions. It's not like a 'yes/no' answer to some random question. It's something I feel when I have been pondering something important to me. I think the reason I am only just starting to act on this feeling is because I have kind of given up trying to fully understand what the prompting means. I have had too many experiences where I knew what I should do, but didn't act on it because I didn't trust that my intuition knew what the ending would be.

But you know what? Whenever I act on it, I am more at peace even if the decision was harder. Since I know who I am, how I think, how I feel and give love, I need to start trusting my intuition with my most sincere and important needs. I'm not going to settle on something else because I don't know what the outcome will be, I'm going to start holding myself to the standards of my intuition and cry through the hard times, and hope for the best times.

So when things don't feel right, I am going to start listening to those promptings.

Duck, duck, goose!

I'm a good citizen, for many reasons, but this post has been inspired by a recent act of goodness. My neighborhood roads have been getting re-surfaced this week and so there are all these reflective barriers in the middle of the streets. Today on my way home from work after the sun had gone down, these two little girls were out in the middle of a dark street playing with the reflectors and waiving at passing cars. So I rolled my window down and said strongly, 'get out of the middle of the road it's dangerous!' I probably saved those girls lives and I hope I scared them enough to make them never do that again.

I feel so blessed to come from a family and religion that puts family first. I was able to share a little bit of the testimony I have in families tonight with a guy  I am working with to move his mother into our community. He was asking me if the transitional time was for the elderly to get acclimated to the new environment was 2 weeks and if he should plan to visit after 2 weeks to make sure it's easier for her (she's not all there and doesn't recognize him half the time any more). Immediately, I was responded with, 'No. I think family is the most important thing to her right now. No one would be better suited to help her with this transition than her own family. No one knows her better, has your family smell, tone, and attention. Transition will be hard enough with the support of family." I felt just a great sense of comfort between him and I for that moment. Like he was thinking about a concept he had never considered before, but something he probably believed in his heart without realizing it. It was a cool feeling.

Some cute stuff from work (I work in an Assisted Living for the elderly):

A couple times a week little old ladies chatting in wheelchairs smile and say hello to me as I pass them in the hall and turn to one another and say loudly (because they are both going deaf) "Wow do you think she could get any taller?"

Mary is a lady I say hello to a couple of times a day, take her to meals and help her find things that she has misplaced.
Mary: Excuse me young lady you have very good posture. I used to be a therapist so I can tell and you do*smile*!
Me: Thank you Mary! My mom always told me to stand up straight.
Mary: How do you know my name*concerned face*?!
Me: Mary I work here.
Mary: You do?!

What's New Baby Boo?

Yay! I got a new job. One that I actually think I could make a career out of. I have a company cell phone and my own office (with a door), I interact with people, and it's just up the street from me! The change of pace is something for me to get used to still, I have never worked in a position where I couldn't leave my work at the office. The cell phone and interaction with people make my position a little more demanding on my time, but I'm adjusting and I'm grateful for the change!

Outside of work life is as normal as I can make it. Though my house has been neglected since I am finding I have even LESS time to do necessities like laundry and general house-keeping. My laundry is so overwhelming, that I don't even have enough baskets to contain the piles. Bleeker (my standard poodle) is highly fascinated with my dirty laundry - so much so that Travis and I found ourselves giving him hydrogen peroxide the other night to induce vomitting after he swallowed my panties!

Gross as that may be, it has definitely raised laundry and house-keeping to the top of my priority list. What I really need is someone to come over and oversee my organization in each room. I did that once with Amy and she sat there while I organized. I have discovered something about myself - especially as I get older...I am co-dependent when it comes to cleaning or shopping. I rarely ever go shopping alone and when I do it's only because I have put it off so long that I will either starve or run out of toilet paper. Cleaning is simple to do, but deep cleaning and organization seems to be much too hard for just myself to concur (or even start). :}

Life is good, when I get stressed Travis takes me to get a pedicure and we watch a funny show or go see a movie. Recently he expressed interest in clipping coupons and starting to shop more and eat out less. We still eat out, but we are starting to collect tons of coupons so we can get things super cheap and maybe we'll eventually transition dining out, to staying in. If anything, we'll always have toothpaste we got for free on hand! I'm so glad Travis wanted to get into coupon'ing, 'cause it's kind of a dorky thing, but he is ALMOST too cool for me, so I think with this little bit of dork he's got going, levels the playing field quite nicely ;}

Until next time!

Kisses,

Ashley