Writing is good therapy. Therapists usually suggest writing down your feelings and significant life events...typically nothing extraordinary happens externally (unless you're Mike Birbiglia), but that emotional connection that occurs when pen meets paper is priceless and 100% intrinsic. So here I go, but I am pre-warning you that I will probably ramble and not make sense at times.
A while ago, when I had a moment of clarity, I wrote about the importance of knowing yourself: how you think, how you feel love, how you give love, and how events affect your individual perspective. But I think I left off one important piece we need to find personal understanding with and that is our intuition and how to act on it.
My intuition is a complicated feeling of peace. It has a compilation of emotions and memories from my childhood. In an instant it takes me back to Washington in the rain, it has a smell that I can't quite place, it has an anticipation and excitement that I used to feel when other people were opening their gifts and I wanted to help, and the laughter from when my mom or dad would tickle me silly. This intuition is so familiar and powerful that it shakes me a little when I feel it unexpectedly. It has only been recent that I have tied this feeling directly to personal decisions. It's not like a 'yes/no' answer to some random question. It's something I feel when I have been pondering something important to me. I think the reason I am only just starting to act on this feeling is because I have kind of given up trying to fully understand what the prompting means. I have had too many experiences where I knew what I should do, but didn't act on it because I didn't trust that my intuition knew what the ending would be.
But you know what? Whenever I act on it, I am more at peace even if the decision was harder. Since I know who I am, how I think, how I feel and give love, I need to start trusting my intuition with my most sincere and important needs. I'm not going to settle on something else because I don't know what the outcome will be, I'm going to start holding myself to the standards of my intuition and cry through the hard times, and hope for the best times.
So when things don't feel right, I am going to start listening to those promptings.
3 comments:
you used a lot of big words... :)
but that's okay, because i think i was able to follow you. that is so awesome you are learning to recognize those feelings. i still don't think i've got it figured out. you used totally interesting comparisons, though! you've given me stuff to ponder...
also, you should be a writer.
or at least make a "complaint blog" like we talked about so you reach even more people with your words ;)
When things feel right, I get that feeling and I'm just now starting to notice the difference between that and just my anxiety kicking in. :}
You are so strong and have a gift if instinct. Don't lose sight of your dreams, your goals , and finding the best Ashley you can find...I heart you friend.
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